California.
How do I convey my excitement about an amazing trip without listing a bunch of impressive sights or experiences, but in a way that people outside of my closest relationship can understand?
I don’t feel like I can, so I’m not going to try. However, I will talk a bit about security.
Tonight I’ve realized that I have never felt so secure in a relationship, and I know it’s because of the intimacy. I always feel that I am safe to communicate whatever I’m feeling or thinking and he will listen and not over-react or prejudge me. He is also amazing with the emotional support he gives me. He always has words of encouragement and hope, even if we are both mopey.
And perhaps the greatest thing about it is that it is reciprocal. I’ve always felt uncomfortable sharing everything with my boyfriends, or even my best friends. That’s always confused me because I know I can trust them. But it makes sense that they have always been unable or unwilling to fully share themselves with me, and so I have always remained guarded.
Finally I found someone to completely share myself with. Everything. 100%.
I couldn’t be happier.
September 18th, 2008
I’m off to California in 33 hours!
I can’t believe it’s so soon. I know I’m going to have a great time.
I can’t wait… although I can’t complain. These past 2 months have gone so fast!
Other than that, not much to report. I had a really bad headache today but it went away by lunch. I have to remember to buy some more tylenol because I know I’ll probably need them.
I’m sure there are some other things I can put here but all I can think about is….. I CAN’T WAIT.
I love you, handsome!
September 9th, 2008
In what I am choosing to interpret as amazing political insight on behalf of an animal, my dog poo-pooed on a Gloria Kovach sign tonight.
September 8th, 2008
I feel like I never have time to update, but I can’t think of anything really important I’ve done in the past week. Hmmm…
I did go to my orientation for the Human Resources Management program. I didn’t eat dinner because I thought it was going to be over at 6:45 but my teacher had class right after so I ended up staying until 9 or 9:30… something like that. I was so hungry! It looks like it’s going to be a good program, although there’s 22 courses to complete and the schedule is really weird… so I’ll be have to make sure I keep up on what classes I have and when things are due or it’s going to be really easy to fall behind! I think it’s time to put up my trusted dry-erase wall calendar.
I ordered my new glasses today and made a hair appointment. It’s funny because I got them to order in the exact same frames I already have. Is that exciting, or what? This pair is almost dead though… they have been good to me over the past 4(?) years.
I also went to the doctor today. Apparently my blood work looked fine (no diabetes, thyroid, whatever the hell else they were checking for). I also got her to check my ears which she said looked good. She mentioned something about if I had a virus that might effect my middle ear (which they can’t check) and that it might straighten itself out. On the migrane front, she’s still going to refer me to a neurologist just to make sure that’s what it is (since I don’t get headaches, just blurred vision)
Tomorrow should be a good day. I’m going to go to Kitchener to get some things straightened out at the College and then my bosses are taking the a/p girls out to lunch so it should be a good day!
On a totally random note, I have been too lazy to kill the daddy long legs spider that had made a web beside my tv. Then a couple days ago I saw that he had killed and cocooned a larger, more gross spider. I knew there was a reason I kept him around! He seems to have disappeared now though… hmm….
And finally - 13 days! Almost in the single digits! I am so very very excited!!! Love you baby and I CAN’T WAIT!
August 28th, 2008
Everybody go to www.bride.ca, click on “news/ideas” and read “Honeymoon Registries to the Rescue” PLEASE!!!
August 25th, 2008
I had ice cream for lunch.
That’s right…… ICE CREAM…. FOR LUNCH!
August 22nd, 2008
I’ve been trying to set it up so that I can email posts during the day but it’s just not happening. It’s dumb because I have a lot to say during the day but when I get home I’m just too lazy to update. Blah!
Anyway… HAPPY FRIDAY!
It’s not a “good” Friday, but I’m one day closer to California. 19 days!!
I guess I should get to work!
August 22nd, 2008
Good evening, cyber dwellers! (hahaha… cyber dwellers)
I am now on day 29 of the countdown to California Adventure #1. Less than a month! I’m super-excited. I hope (fuck!) the days continue to go by quickly. I’m starting to get a little nervous… nervous of flying on 9/11, nervous of missing my connecting flight, nervous of meeting John at the airport… but I can deal.
The rest of this post will be a series of random updates/thoughts:
1. Gizmo hasn’t had a seizure in almost 3 weeks. He’s also returned to his normal self, running around and playful. We’re almost out of the liquid kind of medication, and vet refused to prescribe any more until he had an “annual checkup”. This confused me because he was just fully checked over 2 months ago when I brought him in because of his seizures! Nevertheless, they are “obligated” to have an “annual check up”. (Can we say cash grab?)
2. Last Sunday I had a weird head rush thing which I intended on ignoring… until I’ve been having more frequent (brief) dizzy spells. Went to the doctor, did the blood work thing. She said she has no idea why it’s happening but if it happens again to come back in, and she made another appointment for me in 2 weeks. I also told her about the blurry vision thing I get sometimes. She said it sounds like migranes, but was puzzled when I told her that sometimes I don’t get a headache at all and when I do it’s not very painful. I know people who have migranes who have to get out of the light and go lay down… that never happens with me. So she referred me to a neurologist.
3. I’ve decided that I’m going back to school in September for HR Management. It’s a 1 year post-graduate degree that will allow me to take the certification test. I’d like to get more into labour relations so I think this is a good way to do it. AND… I haven’t given up on the LSAT thing. I think my ultimate goal is to pursue law. It’s just not the right time. The course is 80% online and 20% in class (in the evening) so that will allow me to keep a job if I want to. I think I might look for something part time once my contract runs out in October/November.
4. I noticed that a lot of stores are turning down their lights to conserve energy (okay well not a lot but Winners and Food Basics… 2 out of 4 stores I’ve been to this week). I think that is an awesome idea! Also, if anyone is reading this from Guelph - I fully expect you to participate in Operation Power Down this Thursday!
And finally, I thought I would leave you with some pictures of the crazy weather this past weekend:
August 12th, 2008
I cleaned my room today. It doesn’t sound like a big deal… but believe me, it is. There was crap EVERYWHERE. And so many boxes I hadn’t unpacked or stored away. It’s perfectly clean now. I feel so much better.
I’m in better spirits today. Not any more optimistic, but in better spirits. Tomorrow is a holiday and I plan to spend the whole day with John while Abby is at camp… so exciting! I had a good Friday and a good weekend with him, but I’m just so greedy. In other news (but on the same subject) I’m really excited about my trip. I got my dad to measure Jen’s little suitcase to make sure it fit the dimensions for carry on luggage because I don’t want to deal with checking bags and the possibility that it might get lost during my connecting flight transfer. The days seem to be going fast… although I’m sure they are bound to slow down soon. I think about it every day… I’m so anxious, and excited, and hopeful (fuck!).
I love you, handsome! 38 days!
August 3rd, 2008
Abby’s birthday went well. I took her out to dinner. Did you know that they no longer sing for birthdays at Eastside Mario’s? I didn’t. Abby was a little disappointed but she got an ice cream with a sparkler in it, so that was okay. We also did some shopping afterwards. I got a new pair of pajamas and she got a webkinz and some books. She didn’t want a birthday party, but I’ll be taking her and a friend to Bingemans next weekend if the weather is nice.
The rest of the week went pretty quickly. Friday my boss took us all out to lunch to reward us for our hard work during month end. We went to a golf course restaurant and it was really good! I had the chicken club. Although, I think I ate too much because I was feeling really full afterwards.
Friday night I had a really good night with John. It makes me so happy to spend time with him, even if it’s just watching tv (although I was quite happy to keep up with him on Guitar Hero after only 2 days of practice!). I love him so much…
I’ve been bad about going to the gym this week, and I feel really bad about it. I also feel really sluggish and generally crappy. I know it’s because I haven’t gone, but it doesn’t make me want to go either.
Also, I was looking on Facebook tonight and I see a lot of people I know got into law school. I know that I had to raise my LSAT score if I wanted a real chance, but I decided against it in February and that’s why I didn’t get in. It’s still sad though. It’s really hard not to feel like a failure even though I know I didn’t put much effort into it.
So that thinking always brings me to… what now? I’m frustrated with where I am right now. It’s not where I want to be. Where do I want to be? How am I going to get there? I don’t know. There’s no plan. I’m just kind of wasting time until I decide.
Blah, I hate when I get like this.
August 2nd, 2008
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